Jogging is for Noobs

Went jogging after 1 month of doing no exercise. Was in good spirit but after this jogging session I feel crap. Here's the reason why jogging is for noobs:-

a) Realized that on a scale of 1-10, my level of fitness is -23. I ran for 10 seconds and then I was feeling pain in my chest so I walked for 50 seconds and then ran for 5 secs and walked for 1 minit 30 secs. Than I ran for ran 2 more 3-secs run and walked home. F*ck. My fitness is lower than a cow.

b) Once u jog, u can never go back. I ran half of the jogging track and feel so heavy and my head started seeing Britney Spears dancing in a baju kurung and felt that I want to go home but I am already faraway and the only way is take a taxi which will make me feel like a super-noob so I had to finish the freaking jogging track. Damn mother-o! They should make a service on rescuing extremely exhausted nooby joggers

c) Arrived at home and realized that I locked myself out and my housemates are not at home so I wasted rm30 in asking the locksmith to come. Crap!!! WHY is my innocent desire to just jog my ass off is being punished like this!!!!!????

Damnit... really an ass day. Jogging sucks. Jogging is dipsh!t. Jogging can go to Paris and jump from Eiffel Tower. You suck the hell out, jogging!!! I Hate u, jogging!!!

Conclusion is Jogging is for noobs. Noobs like me.......