I feel that I am so lazy and so uninitiated that I think I do not deserve to feel happy about myself at all but I do. I am comfortable with who I am altho it's nearer to ignorance than entitlement.
Past 2 days I have decided that going out is better than staying home, doing something is better than doing nothing, eending the day feeling tired is better than feeling energized.
I have a lot of fears. Biggest is failure to fail altho I have taken so many risks in life. I feel that I have stopped taking massive risks becoz of the failures I have experienced.
I decided, I have to continue taking risks even if I fail even more becoz life without risks is unmomentous. It is stuck in its idle inertia.
Thus, this is my resolve for new year altho it's already mid-Jan. I dont care becoz for me, everyday is the same. It's still 24 hours altho it's Raya or New Year or whateva.
So, who the F cares....
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before this, i don't have a dream...so, each day felt like a drag - so empty. it upset me. i was clueless...but now that i have found what i want to do with my life...after setting up some goals and future plans...after some soul-searching for what it took like the whole 22 years of my life...for the first time, i am calm. i've settled down.now, it's only to put actions behind these words and the DREAM.
ReplyDeletehope things work out for you soon...sometimes, a change of pace is good but, once in a while, just stop and listen what your heart really tellin you. ;)
TY for the insights.. Will try to listen to my heart
ReplyDeleteyour heart? do u have one? LOL
ReplyDeleteA good thing to do when you are feeling this way is to do some charity work. Helping the less fortunate has a way of making you feel better about your own life.
ReplyDelete