Fast and Furious and Not Caring

1st up, I think my mental state has gone up a notch a bit in the past month. I believe more... I am a little bit confident.. and I can see the picture of my future a little bit clearer.

Previously, it has been BLURR.. So blurrr that I am looping this indecisive loop in my head. After you've completed something, u feel confident and then u want to complete another thing and so it goes.. My life is miles away from being complete, but I can see some way of completing it compared to me 1 year ago where I am in a total wreck in confidence and direction.

I also came to the conclusion that's it's useless to try and follow other people. It's just almost impossible for me. I just can't have the same mentality as most of my frens altho we are the greatest of frens.

In the end, I can't be like them because this is how I am born like, it's programmed from the beginning. I found out that in this country, in this society that I live in, my idea of the life I want to live is ill-advised.

But I don't think it's possible for me to live like most people. No matter how much I feel isolated, how lonely I am in being the way I am, I am most comfortable being like this...